Many questions with different answers.
I do not make (genuine) friends with or date anyone that I met in the club, period. Those that I see outside of the club are paying me for my time as a dinner escort. I have had many (genuine) friends and two of the men I’ve dated while stripping see me dance, but I didn’t meet any of them there.
There are often people I meet at the club that I wish I’d met under other circumstances — in a bar, maybe, or through mutual friends — and could befriend. But my job is not to make friends, but instead to make money, and I don’t use my friends to make money.
As far as dancers go, I’m not at all very private. I’ve given my legal first name out a dozen or so times. I dish out my phone number happily to customers that spend a significant sum of money on me for a significant amount of time, and I’ve got about 30 numbers tagged with CLUBR (club regular) in my phone. In conversation, I’m honest to an extent about my hobbies, interests, and things I like to do. I’m “out” as a stripper to friends, family, and pretty much anyone that asks me what I do. I don’t hide that I dance from people in my personal life, and I only hide identifying details and my specific whereabouts from my customers. As far as strippers go, that’s actually fairly intensely public; many refuse to give any contact information, any real information on personal interests or hobbies, and hide dancing from possibly-disapproving people in their personal lives.