Ask me whatever you'd like. I'm not shy.
...But flaming, trolling, and blatant ignorance will be disregarded and left unanswered. There is no need to be an asshole, I'm a generally friendly chick.

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This blog should not be viewed at work or school, is not suitable for those under eighteen, those that are minors in their jurisdictions, or those viewing from a prohibited area.

This blog contains NUDITY, discussion of SEX and SEXUALITY, discussion of VIOLENCE (including sexual violence), discussion of DRUGS, discussion of EATING DISORDERS (including behaviors and thoughts), and discussion of ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES (including prostitution and drug use).

People on Sniffers' Row

My co-workers call me Piper, although the daydwellers and people who named me call me something else entirely. I make my living, currently, as a stripper in the Midwestern United States. Among the more banal of details, I’m twenty-four, and I live with my dogchildren, Raven and Tiger, who are the little Miniature Pinscher centers of attention in the house.

I was a socially inept, clumsy, willful twenty-one-year-old Loan Specialist for a major mortgage lender, getting laid off for two weeks from my cubical job in July of 2009. I approached a friend who stripped about dancing and whether or not she thought I could actually do it. With some hesitancy, she took me to the manager, and I had a job. The plan was to strip for two weeks and return to shuffling papers and sleepily answering phone calls about people’s most important investment. After the first night I was high as hell on adrenaline and hooked on the money — I’d made a full week’s worth of pay in just eight hours, having fun. I saw the possibilities that dancing offered me, and quit my desk-jockey job the following Monday.

This blog came about five months into this wild dancing excursion, and it’s purpose was two-fold: to keep the memories and journey in a collected space for myself, and to show others that strippers aren’t (always) coked-out, do-anything-for-money, long-fingernailed kinds of girls. I wanted a larger audience to see me for what I am: some chick who fell into dancing, remains almost sober most of the time, wound up liking her job (however taboo it might be), and is using her job to enjoy the best years of her life, to travel, to spawn fodder for writing, to pay off debt, and (maybe) finish her degree.

Essentially, I wound up liking my job enough to spend time nearly every day writing about it. I mostly write about money and glitter and the weird people I encounter and gifts and my poor feet and strobe lights and things You Shouldn’t Do in The Strip Club, but occasionally about my personal life. There are definitely pictures of my dogs, and no longer any pictures of my tits.

When I’m not writing or stripping, I’m snuggling my fantastic boyfriend, experimenting with gluten-free cooking, out running through the countryside, or taking care of my little acreage. I’m an outdoorsy breed who also enjoys kayaking, hiking in state and national parks, camping, mudfights, vegan and vegetarian meals, and occasionally attempting to grow vegetables with a black thumb. I pole dance as a sport in a legit pole studio, with my clothes on. I like painting with my fingers and doing puzzles and helping people complete their math homework. I hate mall-store-wandering and wearing lotion and things with bows on them.

I have little patience for those whose very basic grammar and spelling skills suck, or those who lack basic reasoning skills, so please, if you have a question, attempt to proofread it yourself. If you can spell, use punctuation, and use basic logic to figure out whether your question is worthwhile, then please, feel free to drop by my Ask Box